


Dirty Computer

by DoctorMegalomania



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Espionage, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Violence, Multi, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-War, Reference To Past Injury, Tags Contain Spoilers, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorMegalomania/pseuds/DoctorMegalomania
Summary: Years after the war, nothing is what anyone hoped for. Peace reigns supreme.
Relationships: Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s), Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy
Comments: 67
Kudos: 73





	1. dirty computer, walk in line

**Author's Note:**

> Normally, I do lyrics at the beginning of chapters, but this one doesn't really have a soundtrack beyond Janelle Monáe's Dirty Computer visual picture and quite a number of other songs. Additional tags will be added and edited, but for the purposes of the first couple of chapters - I'd like some tension, please indulge me. I want to reassure you that if I felt I needed to add the Archive Warnings, I would have chosen the appropriate warnings (I don't like using the 'Choose not to tag' option as I'd like to absolutely clear that none of the tags apply - though obviously, some characters will experience danger, there is some horror, there will be some reference to past injuries.)
> 
> I also extend my thanks to bryony-rebb (Tumblr) for their assistance with beta-ing.
> 
> Also, if you think I can go without a disclaimer:... hahahaha, I'm so old.

To say that Duo Maxwell was a dedicated Preventer officer was going a little overboard. Did he care about his job? Yes. But was he the perfect officer? No, sir, he was not. And yet…

Here he was, way past fucking home time, putting the finishing touches to a report due in four days. 

Did his boss need him to do it that well? No. 

Did he want to? 

His eyes flicked to the envelope.

…Yes, desperately.

Turning his attention back to the report, Duo found he had the makings of a headache coming on, and it was too late to self-medicate with coffee. He sighed and reached up to stretch and try to work out the crick in his neck. At least the report was done, and he could finally go home. The envelope he’d been avoiding was still propped up against his potted plant. It looked too much like all the other letters. He didn’t need to open it. 

Just another polite rejection.

He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. Maybe… maybe it would be different this time. Duo reached out and picked up the letter, pulling it out of the envelope and unfolding the single page.

> _ Dear Mr Maxwell,  _
> 
> _ Thank you for your interest in the Active Division Advancement program. I sincerely regret to inform you that you have not been successful _ …

His jaw tight, Duo folded the letter back into the envelope and stuffed it in his pocket. He swallowed the bitterness. Just one more polite rejection. Six years, twelve rejections. Every time the reason was different. It wasn’t his physical, it wasn’t his weapons proficiency, it wasn’t his reputation, it wasn’t his mental acuity, it wasn’t his administrative accuracy, it wasn’t his depth of knowledge, it wasn’t his experience… It felt like the excuses had run out. The last three times it had been some minor paperwork issue. Just some unknown administrative aspect he couldn’t fix. It didn’t matter.

He  _ still _ wasn’t good enough.

He was starting to wonder if he would ever be good enough to make Active Division. He glanced at a paper he had tacked to his wall - a series of numbers, slashes through all but three. He’d left the contextual information off, almost embarrassed, but this was his measure of success. After the first rejection - some nonsense about not being at the physical standard needed for Active Division agents - Duo had pulled the stats of the Active Division’s best agent. Not the ones they put on all the posters, not the ones they rolled out in front of the cameras. No, Duo found  _ him _ . The one agent who outshone everyone… the perfect agent. They couldn’t reject him again if he was better than their number one. 

Grabbing a pen, Duo added a tally mark to his rejection tracker and picked another number. The obstacle course. He’d need to shave four seconds off his own best time to match, six to soundly beat him. He tossed the pen back into the pen pot and nodded to himself. He wasn’t going to give up. 

Grabbing his bag and his water bottle, he made his way to the lift. The Preventers branch he worked at was a small, old satellite building that had been redeveloped a few blocks far from the main headquarters. Paper pushing,  _ mere _ social crime investigating Law Enforcement agents like him didn't need the shiny building that the Active Division was based in. He paused by the window and looked out. It was dark and it was raining. He started doing up his coat and walked towards the lift.

Yawning, he waited for the lift to arrive after punching the call button. There were several floors below him. Staring at his dull reflection in the metal doors, he started to wonder what he could get for dinner at such a late hour. Maybe a cheeky takeout, something with chicken-

His stomach gurgled unhappily.

Okay, maybe not takeout. He squinted at the dull red LED screen above the lift doors. It crawled. He needed… He felt around his mouth with his tongue, hoping for inspiration. He needed something fresh. Like a salad.

The lift doors pinged open like a light bulb moment.

He sighed as he got in. "It's official," he said to himself, staring morosely at the dark office he'd left behind. "I'm old as fuck." The doors creaked closed and he briefly leaned his forehead against the cool metal. "A salad? Really? Shit."

Dodging the rain, Duo pulled up his hood and jammed his hands into his pockets as he left the building and made his way to the bus stop. Once onboard, he took a few moments to pull out his phone and put in his headphones. His journey home was unremarkable. He had a good playlist going, something mellow for this time of night. The rain had eased off when he jumped off the bus two stops early to go to the 24-hour corner shop. He raised a tired hand to greet the store manager, then grabbed a packet of ready-made salad, some cooked chicken and some dressing that purported to be super healthy. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to eat, but then again it was fucking late. He was just contemplating toasting some bread to make croutons when - out of the corner of his eye - he noticed a commotion at the front of the store.

He dropped the salad, dressing, and chicken onto a nearby shelf.

Blinked.

The music on his playlist became faint.

Breathed in.

Moved.

He picked up a bottle of wine and was calmly reading the label as he walked towards the till.

The nervous would-be thief was screaming incoherent threats at the terrified store manager.

In a smooth series of movements, Duo swung the bottle across the back of the man's head, wrestled the gun away, and then brought the man down with an unhealthy crunch.

The threat was disabled.

He breathed out.

Blinked.

His music came back.

The tearful manager was saying something.

Duo snagged an earbud out of his ear. "Sorry, what?"

"Thank you!"

A faint headache blooming behind his eyes, Duo looked at him blankly. "Sure. Call the police and an ambulance." He looked down at the man sprawled at his feet. He was terribly young. Strung-out, too, judging by his darting eyes and uncontrollable sweat.

"Look, I just finished a four-week operation ending in a pretty intense trial, and I finished the report early so I could take the next three days off." He sighed and looked back down the aisle, not a clue where he'd put the salad or the chicken. His shoulders drooped forlornly. "I just wanted a salad and to go to fucking bed." He raised a hand to pinch his nose. "Now there's going to be more paperwork. Ugh."

* * *

It was no longer fucking late. He looked at his watch. It was now fucking early. He had hoped to catch a gym class in the morning. Duo morosely ate the cooling ramen the store manager had eagerly fixed for him as he sat on the kerb waiting for the officers to finish taking statements. It was salty and definitely not the salad he was going to eat. 

The rain was no more than an irritating drizzle now, and he wasn’t sure if it added to the taste of his ramen cup or not. He didn’t mind the rain though. With the night wrapped around him, he stared unseeingly, mechanically shovelling noodles into his mouth with the wooden chopsticks. 

There was some movement in the corner of his eye, and he raised his head to look over to the officers. Two were just tucking the would-be thief into the back of a car. Another broke from the group to approach the shop owner. The last stood reading from a notebook before nodding and walking towards him.

He set aside his cup as the officer crouched down by him. “Mr Maxwell, um… I think we have everything we need now.” She looked at him thoughtfully. “Do you need a ride home?”

Duo pointed over the street. “I live over there. It’s not far, I think I’ll make it.” He stood and picked up the ramen carefully, tipping it towards her like a glass of wine. “Cheers for the offer.” He was about to put his headphones back in when his phone went. He sighed and glanced at the screen: it was his supervisor. “Do not be calling to ask me in,” he muttered as he swiped the call on. “Yes, boss?”

“I’m told you were involved in a civilian altercation. Are they still alive?”

Duo rolled his eyes. “Yes, boss. I only broke his shoulder.”

“Only? Did you need to break their shoulder?”

“Boss, all offence, but I’m fucking tired. I didn’t get any lunch. Dinner was some ramen cup with…” He raised the cup to peer at it. “With some weird-ass fish… maybe chicken thing? I think they might be fighting.” He threw the remains in a bin as he passed by. “Did I need to break their shoulder? I dunno, maybe ask the-”

“Lieutenant Maxwell, Protocol Zero Two Beta.”

“I did not need to break his shoulder, I overestimated the amount of force required to disarm him.” Duo paused in the street. “The situation is resolved and no further action is necessary.” He blinked. Breathed in. Breathed out.

His supervisor sighed heavily. “All right. I’m sorry, Duo.” There was a brief pause. “I see you’ve pulled three days for the holiday. I’m giving you a week.”

“It wasn’t that much of a fight.” Duo frowned slightly; his supervisor’s tone left little room for argument. “I mean, it was over so quickly, I barely even remember it.”

“I know.” His supervisor sounded a little concerned. “But you’ve been in the field for a while. I think you’ve got some downtime due to you. Keep in touch, but take some time to rest.”

“Sure.” Duo reached up and scratched his neck. “See you in a week, boss.”

He reached his home and walked up the steps to his front door when his headache suddenly blossomed right across his forehead. He winced but took comfort in the fact he was very nearly home. It had been so fucking long since he’d gotten to sleep in a comfortable bed that was his very own. He smiled at the thought. Entering his home, he turned to switch off the alarm.

It had already been disabled.

He blinked. Breathed in. Breathed out. Drew his service weapon.

The apartment was silent and dark. He glanced back at the alarm. He’d set it when he left a month ago. He knew that. He always set it before departing on long ops. It had been disabled. Not by force. He listened carefully. Stepped out. Eased off the safety on his weapon.

Heard a creak.

Moved and raised his weapon in one smooth motion. Found himself facing another gun pointed at him. Low light came in from the living room window, illuminating the other person slightly. He took in the situation and made up his mind. Weirdly, he felt unthreatened. 

“Who are you?” He slowly lowered his gun. “What are you doing in my home?”

The other person’s gun wavered, then lowered as well. They took a step to the side, moving towards the low table where the lamp was. They sank slowly onto the sofa and moved to put the weapon down on the table. Their voice was rough, low and pained.

“I don’t mean you any harm. I… I just need your help.”

The stranger reached out and flicked on the light. It took a moment for Duo’s eyes to adjust. Once they had, he could see that the man on his sofa was wiry, injured, and looked exhausted. Duo looked around. His living room was a mess. There were bloodied bandages and weapons lying around. A ripped Preventers jacket was slung carelessly over a chair. He brought his attention back to the wounded man. He looked pale and in pain.

“Okay,” Duo said, keeping his tone even. “So you’re a Preventer. Active Division.”

“Credentials in the jacket.” The man pressed his hand to his side. Blood was seeping through the ripped tee and bandages beneath. “You…” He hesitated. Duo tilted his head at the man’s grimly disappointed expression. “Of course you don’t recognise me.”

Duo moved towards the ripped jacket and took a moment to look it over before he started reaching into the pockets. “That’s not true.” Duo looked over the chair. “You’re Captain Yuy.” He pulled out the credentials that confirmed this was indeed the first-class Active Division ace Heero Yuy. Duo had only ever seen him in action via the occasional surveillance video, but the stats couldn’t hide the camera-shy perfect agent. Three statistics to cross off and they’d be even. Here was the man Duo measured himself by.

Captain Yuy’s badge was broken in half, the locator chip missing. Blood was smeared over his identification card. “Take it you’d rather I didn’t call you in?”

The other man’s face scrunched into a grimace. “Would appreciate it if you heard me out first.” He looked down, breathing deep. “I didn’t know you’d be gone for so long.”

“You’re a good officer, Yuy.” Duo walked into his hallway and returned with a first aid kit, more substantial than the one Heero had raided from the bathroom. “One might even go as far as to call you the  _ perfect _ officer. Gotta confess I’m wondering why a hotshot like you is crashing out at my place.”

“Soldier…” Heero sat upright as if hoping the correction would do something. “You used to call me a perfect soldier.”

Duo met his hard blue eyes for a moment, before motioning to the wound. “As far as I know, we’ve never met. I’m just your average jack-shit Law Enforcement lackey… Never even been to an inter-department event with the AD. I mean, sure I know you… your team has spectacular capture rates. I keep trying to get transferred to AD, but I can never clear that bar…” He spent a few minutes replacing the bandage. The wound had been cleaned and field-stitched, though some of the stitches were not neat toward the end. He glanced up at Captain Yuy’s pained expression. The hard blue eyes were shut. “You need to get some professional medical help. I mean, I can patch you up well enough, it looks like it’s not deep but… You should probably get checked out if you develop a fever.”

“Yeah.” His eyes opened and focused on Duo again. “Do you know which protocols they use with you?”

“Who uses what now?” Duo rose to clean up the mess. He walked into the kitchen and dumped the bloodied bandages in the sink and washed his hands. He returned to the living room with two glasses of water. “Why don’t you start at the beginning, Yuy? Who’s after you that the Preventers can’t protect you from?”

Yuy accepted the drink, gulping it down. He put the glass down on the table and stared hard at the floor for a moment before clasping his hands. “Do you remember the war?”

“Honestly?” Duo glanced at a shiny medal on a shelf. “No. I’m told I was brave. Did a good job. Earned my pension.” Duo took a moment to look around at his beautiful humble home and opened his mouth, but Yuy beat him to the punch. 

“Could spend the rest of your life not working?”

Unnerved, Duo hesitated. It was what he’d been going to say, word for word. He frowned at Yuy. “…Sure.”

“But when you try to take time off, you get…” Yuy seemed to struggle to find the right word. “…You can’t rest?”

Duo shrugged. “Well, sure.” He pursed his lips for a moment before saying quickly. “I mean everyone does.”

Yuy nodded. “Me too.” He breathed for a long moment, pain clearly affecting him. He loosely motioned to his head. “I got a head injury on my last mission. Forced me to take leave to recuperate.” He smiled slightly. “I went crazy; I couldn’t work, couldn’t stand for longer than twenty minutes, couldn’t stare at a screen for more than ten. So I decided to clean out my loft.”

Duo frowned. “Doesn’t sound like a great idea.”

“No, it wasn’t. But it felt like I couldn’t help myself. I had to work.” He sighed and then nodded to his jacket again. “Can you pull out the envelope in the other pocket?”

Duo dug around in the coat pocket and found the envelope. His name and a strange address were in his handwriting on the back as a return address; Heero Yuy’s name and address were on the front. The envelope was old, neatly ripped at the top. Duo was caught on the writing -  _ his _ handwriting, distinctive and so inexplicably his own. He glanced up from the letter at Yuy. He nodded. 

“You can open it.”

He pulled the letter out, the paper so folded and old he had to be careful it didn’t rip. There was a photo tucked in with it. A group of young men, no more than their late teens. Proudly dressed in Preventer dress uniform. Duo knew himself well enough to recognise the long-haired boy. Could see that Captain Yuy was the boy next to him, gruff, unsmiling. Their expressions were not grim, but serious. Duo looked from the photo to the letter. He saw more of his handwriting. The letter was short, one sheet, both sides, the message clear. There was some fear that their electronic forms of communications were being monitored but they could probably get away with this mode for now. There wasn’t a lot of time left before some event that would stop them from communicating even like this. Duo wrote that he’d miss the perfect soldier. Miss all of them. It wasn’t fair, he’d written, they’d done such a good job. They’d been so brave. Surely they were owed more time. He’d never forget what Heero meant to him…

It was  _ his _ own handwriting.

Blood running cold, Duo sank down beside Captain Yuy. Looked at the photo again.

“What…” His voice was quiet. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t know you. Didn’t know those other boys.” He frowned. “I had to look you up. You’re an excellent officer, your record is exemplary. There’s no reason why your request for transfer would be denied… I’d kill to have someone like you on my strike team.” Yuy swallowed hard. “But as far as I remember, we’ve never met. So… I asked my supervisor.” His eyes unfocused for a moment. “I’ve worked with him for seven years. I’ve never seen such fear on his face.” Yuy’s hands closed into fists. “Then he tried to use a protocol on me. Said my name, gave me a protocol, and then was surprised when I didn’t respond. I didn’t know how to. He panicked. Kept shouting protocols at me, trying different phrases. Told me to shut down. Called for security. I… I don’t remember how I escaped. Everything just…” He raised a hand and pressed it against his forehead as if pained by the effort to recall.

“Everything fades away?” Duo raised his hand to scratch his neck, just above the collarbone. “I know that feeling.”

Yuy shrugged painfully. “Next thing I knew I was here.”

“You disabled my alarm,” Duo said. “Do you know the code?”

“…No?” Yuy shrugged. “I don’t remember anything after my supervisor panicked. Only waking up standing in your living room, stitching my own wounds yesterday afternoon.” He gestured to a disassembled phone on Duo’s coffee table. “I went to call in, but my phone had been smashed, I’d taken it to pieces on your kitchen table. I think I was repurposing it… I clearly didn’t want to be found.”

“Clearly.” Duo nodded, took a sip of water, then spread his hands. “Look, I don’t know. I don’t know you. I mean sure, I know  _ about _ you, you’re like the number one Preventer. Big time hotshot.” Duo scratched the back of his head. “Just gotta admit, I don’t know why you’d end up knowing an average Joe like me.”

Yuy’s smile was pained and somewhat awkward. “Don’t sell yourself short. I saw your record, you’ve been cited for excellence multiple times. I’m pretty jealous of your close rate on cases.” He sat back, taking a deep breath. “You said your request for transfer was denied… There’s  _ nothing _ in your file. The only reason I can think of is… they didn’t want us to meet.” He gestured to the picture. “Besides, those aren’t cadet uniforms. Look at your shoulder… that’s  _ leadership _ ranks. Those young men weren’t average.”


	2. look closer & recognise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wufei and his beloved wife just enjoy their quiet normal life - breakfast, their simple jobs and a visit from an old friend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me.  
> I extend my thanks to bryony-rebb (Tumblr) for their assistance with beta-ing.  
> Also, if you think I can go without a disclaimer:... hahahaha, I'm so old.

"SHIT!!"

Wufei's eyes snapped open as his wife flung back the covers and scrambled out of bed. While she dashed into the shower, he tiredly rolled over to check his phone. He rolled his eyes: she'd overslept by twenty minutes. Thankfully, because she was the kind of person who normally left a massive amount of time in her schedule to enjoy a cup of tea with the news, there was no risk of her actually being late. Riko was a very focused woman, but she needed time to calmly follow her routines. Wufei definitely appreciated the calm it brought to his life…

"Aah! Can you make me coffee?!"

…most of the time.

"What about breakfast?" Wufei called back. "You're not subsisting solely on caffeine today."

"I don't have time!"

He got up and stretched, slipping on his robe and going into the bathroom. She was frantically scrubbing up.

"Melon," he called out to her fondly, "You know you have at least an hour before you might even slightly be called late. I'll give you a lift."

"What about your-?"

"I will take an hour later today," he told her over the noise of running water. "Meet me at the cafe after work?"

"Yes, thank you!"

He laughed softly and went to start putting breakfast together for the both of them. Behind him, Wufei's wife clambered around the bedroom, getting ready. Their apartment was in one of the newer high-rises looking out over the river, and included a balcony enclosed by movable glass panels. Wufei opened up the window panels and set up their breakfast on the balcony table, then, waiting for Riko, looked upriver, enjoying the fresh breeze. Padding up behind him, Riko cooed over the food, winding her arms around his waist. She rested her chin on his shoulder. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, just calm down.” He patted her hands warmly. “We've got plenty of time."

Riko snorted softly and he turned in her arms to return the embrace, looking down at her adoringly. Riko shook her head. "You're always so calm."

"Normally, so are you. What went wrong?"

"Ugh, my alarm didn't fire. I've been playing with the settings, looking to use the light more than the radio…" Pulling out of his arms she went to sit down. "That new presenter is driving me around the bend."

He smiled as he joined her at the table. "Why don't you use the music?"

"Seriously, you've heard how tinny it sounds, right?" She made a face. “I don’t want to start my everyday with annoyance, it’s bad for you!”

When they’d finished eating, while Wufei got dressed for the day, Riko packed lunch for both of them. They got into Wufei's car and he dropped her off on his way to work. Riko worked in administration at the main Preventers headquarters while Wufei worked in the academy. They'd met accidentally, dated quietly and married simply, all in two years. Wufei wasn't sure what he'd do without her. 

He waved at a co-worker as she passed him in the corridor. She smiled faintly at him but didn’t stop. He had worked here for the last six years and still couldn’t claim a single colleague as a close friend. It was how he liked it. 

He could focus on his studies, completing his research and working towards his second doctorate. His immediate supervisor seemed to encourage independence in all her subordinates, carefully timetabling schedules in such a way that Wufei had never worked with the same group for longer than six months. It was refreshing not to have to form attachments. 

His first year had been difficult enough. His past had been somewhat known, and people had avoided him like the plague. But if nobody ever got close to him, he couldn’t possibly worry about someone treating him like some kind of… bomb, waiting to explode.

Wufei didn't have family, didn't even have firm memories of anything prior to the Preventers. He paused as he unlocked his office. He'd fought in the war, he knew that much, but an accident had left him with memory issues. He'd been so lucky Preventers had found him and nursed him back to health. He had been rewarded with a handsome pension, but had found it difficult to simply not work. The academy job was perfect for him. 

Wufei settled behind his desk and logged on to his computer. He started working through his emails and settled in.

The day passed relatively quietly - his office hours were long, there were tutorials with various cadets, and one lecture on procedure and professional conduct. Since he'd arrived early that morning and worked through his lunch, Wufei elected to leave a little earlier than normal and made his way to his favourite cafe.

He picked up his usual tea and a small pastry, then settled at a little table neatly tucked in an alcove. The window overlooked the street and was perfect for people watching. Wufei pulled out his book - an old paper backed thing, well loved - and opened it to the page where he’d left off. He'd been reading for a while when he became aware that he was being watched, his tea only half finished. The back of his neck prickled.

Using the window and the light interior of the cafe, he checked the reflection and focused on one person who looked his way once too often. He flipped over a page, taking note of where he'd stopped reading. The man watching him a little too closely was well dressed - not entirely unexpected for the area - but the watch he sported was too expensive. And the cut of his suit, while good, could not fully obscure the fact he carried a concealed weapon. Wufei tensed as the man moved closer. In the time it took him to cross the room, Wufei had analyzed and discarded a number of methods he could use to disarm the man. He turned another page, unread. However, by the time the man gestured to the chair in front of Wufei, Wufei had decided the man was not an immediate threat.

"Good afternoon, Captain Chang."

Wufei looked up as if surprised. The man smiled, the sunlight striking his face and revealing the insincerity in his eyes. Wufei smiled lightly back. "I don't know you."

"I'm aware of that." The man gestured to the seat again. "Mind if I join you briefly?"

Wufei raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

The man sat down, uninvited. "I am coming on behalf of some old friends. We're interested to find out if you'd be available to offer some advice on a situation."

"I don't have old friends," Wufei replied, schooling his expression into something carefully blank. He was aware somewhere at the back of his mind, he was ready to fight if needed. The man shifted slightly, watching the rest of the room carefully. Wufei tilted his head. "What friends?"

"You perhaps forget…" The man spread his hands. "During the war-"

"I don't remember." Wufei frowned, feeling a creeping pain in his head. "I don't have old friends."

"I understand your point." The man seemed to back off. He reached slowly into his coat and brought out a card. He slid it across the table. "If you should remember your friends in space, perhaps you'd be willing to discuss a commission."

Wufei picked up the card. It was blank but for a number and an embossed logo. The man stood up and smiled. "Captain Chang, you are missed."

"Do you even have the right person?" Wufei asked, looking up before the man walked away. "I’m not a captain, I'm not an agent. I'm a lecturer…"

"Now. But not before." The man nodded, working hard to suppress his disappointment. "We need you in space again, Captain Chang."

"I've never been-"

The man walked away, lightly brushing past a number of other patrons. He paused by a table, shaking his head as a woman with dark glasses stood. She pursed her lips in Wufei's direction, but otherwise they left without a word. Wufei looked at the card in his hand again. It was entirely plain, nothing other than the small numbers and embossed logo, a bird engulfed in flames. Running his fingers over the logo caused a frisson of pain behind his right eye.

"Wufei?"

He looked up. A woman was sitting in front of him. He stared at her for a moment, unable to place her. Out on the street a car horn sounded, and when he looked back…

Riko tilted her head, smiling in bemusement. "Did you hear me?"

Wufei blinked, looking down at his cup. His tea was finished and - on the saucer - the white business card was ripped to unrecognizable shreds.

* * *

"So what was his name?" Riko walked past him, pulling her long hair up into a sloppy bun. She stirred the pasta and dipped a finger into the sauce, hissing quietly. "Ah!" She put the finger into her mouth. "Mm, needs salt."

"It's salty enough, melon." Wufei raised a hand to pull off his glasses and pinch his nose. "He didn't say." 

"Headache?" Riko rubbed his back between his shoulder blades. "Want me to get you something for it?"

"Please." He shook his head. "He was just insistent I was an agent, and that space needed me again."

"Sounds quite dodgy," Riko called back as she walked through the apartment. “You don’t even like flying in airplanes!”

Wufei shook his head and stirred the meat sauce, tasting it off the spoon he was using. Rolling his eyes, he added a pinch of salt and started pawing through the spice rack. He snorted as he found what he was looking for and added some more garlic.

When Riko came back, she held out two small white pills and picked up his drink from the table. "Maybe they did know you from before the accident," she suggested casually. "Maybe you have some friends out there who know you." She stroked his back again. "You should maybe think about it."

"Think about what?" Wufei swallowed the pills easily and then prodded the pasta. "You said it yourself, he sounded dodgy. I wasn't anything special during the war." He shook his head again. "Like any other child soldier, I was just…"

A sharp pain started behind his right eye. Wufei pressed a hand against his face and closed his eyes.

"That was lovely," Riko said, reaching over the table to stroke his arm. "Sorry if I upset you earlier, I know you're not feeling well."

Wufei blinked, looking up from an empty dinner plate. He held a fork loosely in his hand. "Sorry?"

"What are you sorry for, you moose?" Riko got up and stacked his dirty plate with hers. "How about we have some ice cream and sit on the balcony?"

Swallowing the weird sensation in his mouth, Wufei looked around. They'd finished dinner, clearly. He frowned, trying to remember what he'd eaten, what they'd talked about. He couldn't clearly recall it, even though he knew it had occurred. His headache was gone, as was the pain behind his eye. He thought briefly about telling Riko, but something in his mind held him back. Instead, he got up and walked out onto the balcony. Nighttime brought beautiful lights out on the river. Wufei was grateful for the glass encasement of the balcony, which gave them some minor protection from the cold. He reached for a nearby drawer, pulling out a small candle block. He lit it and set it up on the low table. Riko joined him, a carton of ice cream in hand with two spoons held up. She smiled at him, and he forgot what he was so worried about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate the response so far, I've been quite nervous about it. It's a different type of story (again!). Argh, it's so hard. I want to write more but I really don't want to spoil the upcoming chapters. 
> 
> Thank you for your time, I will love to hear your thoughts.


	3. not that special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo and Heero continue to search for answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me.  
> I extend my thanks to bryony-rebb (Tumblr) for their assistance with beta-ing.  
> Also, if you think I can go without a disclaimer:... hahahaha, I'm so old.

Lying on Lieutenant Maxwell's couch, Heero stared at the photo of the five young men, then at the other items he’d brought with him. The box in his attic had been…  _ compact _ . There had been the letter. A weapon - a gun, all identifiable marks destroyed. Ammo. A technical drawing of a feather, including measurements, with precise notations in his own handwriting… And then a plastic sleeve, with another photo. An informal shot this time, a selfie taken by Lieutenant Maxwell of himself and Heero, young, Preventer dress uniforms crisp.

Although he had no memory of the photo being taken, Heero could clearly recognise himself; he knew the sullen young man was him. And after today, there was no mistaking Lieutenant Maxwell. The long-haired boy in the photograph was grinning widely, his arm draped over young Heero’s shoulders. There was affection in those eyes. No-one in Heero’s life had ever been so close to him. At least, no-one he could remember. The note on the back, black permanent ink in Lieutenant Maxwell’s handwriting, read, “Congrats buddy!” 

He looked back at the group photo. In that one, too, Lieutenant Maxwell stood close to him. Determination shining in his eyes. Upon closer inspection, Heero could see a minuscule smile pulling at his younger self’s lips. Lieutenant Maxwell seemed to be trying hard to be serious. 

While Lieutenant Maxwell still had the long hair and the vibrant purple eyes, he was taller and… less prone to smiling. That hurt Heero somewhere down deep, for reasons he couldn’t quite fathom.

Heero's life had been fairly unremarkable… or so he had thought until he’d asked his supervisor about Lieutenant Maxwell. Until he had come to in the Lieutenant’s home. Until he compared his life with Lieutenant Max- with Duo's life. His name was Duo. 

Beat for beat, it was as if someone had taken the same tune and played it through both their lives. Both child soldiers, both fought in the war. Both aware they'd been brave and that they'd been well rewarded for their trouble. Neither of them had needed to work, but had been compelled to do so by some deep-seated discomfort with feeling useless.

It had been disappointing that Duo hadn’t recognised him. Heero had been so hopeful…

All five photographed young men were Preventers, in fact. They were posing, all formal, eyes full of the kind of pride that comes with achieving something great. The tallest had his hands stuffed in his pockets, the shortest held his hands behind his back, chin tipped up proudly. Duo stood very close to Heero. They each wore the old Active Duty uniforms, even though they looked barely old enough to be out of the academy. Heero traced his thumb over the stern-looking boy next to him on the end, the wind just catching the end of his ponytail. He wondered if that was Wu or Qat or…

Tutting at himself for forgetting, Heero flipped the picture over, reading Duo's rushed writing again.

_ T _ . T must not have had a name that could be shortened easily. Duo’s inscription listed the younger Heero as just 'Ro. 

He smiled lopsidedly. It was strange reading the writing of someone who so clearly cared desperately about him. This Duo of years past loved them all, made promises that they'd be together again soon. Heero had no memory of family; his life had been a solitary one. While he had the odd acquaintance, he'd never experienced a friendship of the strength of the one Duo displayed in the letter which had enclosed the photo. 

Heero carefully tucked both photos back into the dry envelope and unfolded the letter again. He'd read it many times in the days since he’d discovered it, searching for clues at first, but now… he just couldn't believe that at some point, someone was… fond of him. His co-workers found him difficult. He’d never really felt the need to make any kind of human connection, hadn't ever felt comfortable letting his guard down around people who seemed to be constantly on edge around him.

…Now he searched the letter for all those tiny fragments of a person who’d once cared for him, who promised him that they'd find each other again. Duo had written how he’d never forget how much Heero meant to him. He read the sentence again, a sharp yearning going through him for the words to be said out loud. He’d meant something to someone. Not just as a soldier, an agent… a weapon. He’d meant something more to Duo. It was new, this need to mean something. 

He traced his fingers over the words again. 

It was… nice. He hoped he’d have the chance to experience it in person. 

A mild pain bloomed behind his right eye and he sat up, carefully setting down the letter. In a fluid move, he stood and moved towards the living room door. His training urged him to draw his weapon, but he couldn't shake the feeling he didn't need to.

The front door unlocked and Lieutenant Maxwell stepped in, carrying shopping. He paused in the doorway to stare at Heero. "Huh."

"Welcome back," Heero replied, returning to the sofa, wincing when his stitches pulled as he sank down onto it.

"You know, it's weird," Maxwell called after him, carrying the shopping straight through to the kitchen. Now that they were face-to-face again, with the distance of strangers still between them, Heero found the idea of  _ Duo _ retreating like a ghost back into the letter and photos from the past. "I kinda knew you'd be standing there."

Heero massaged his right temple. "Do you get a little pain-?"

"Behind the right eye?" Lieutenant Maxwell completed the thought, giving a mirthless snort. "So what, do you think we're newtypes or something?"

Heero glanced at the letter beside him, picking it up and folding it back into its protective envelope. "Maybe something." He packed the envelope back into the bag he'd brought with him. Standing, he walked into the kitchen. Lieutenant Maxwell was leaning against a counter, waiting for the kettle to boil. He'd set out a pair of mugs.

"How are you feeling?" he asked Heero, his tone neutral.

"Better. Though…" Heero glanced at the fresh fruit Maxwell had bought. "Don't you need to report in?"

"Week’s holiday. I had three days booked, but…" He frowned. "There was an incident at the corner shop, and my boss decided I needed a week."

"What was the incident?"

"Some poor kid, strung out and looking for money." Maxwell raised a hand to rub at his throat. "You know, you talked about protocols, right?"

"Yes, my commander tried a whole range." Heero gestured inquiringly to the fruit bowl, and Maxwell nodded. Heero helped himself to a banana and sat down. "He tried to shut me down, he tried resetting me…"

"Mine said… Protocol Zero Two Beta."

"Do you know why?"

"I don't really remember."

"Are you sure about the number? Mine was different." Heero took a bite from his banana. "Mine were prefaced with Zero One." He looked at Duo thoughtfully. "What does Protocol Zero Two Beta do?"

"I'm sure about the number." Maxwell stared for a moment before turning to make his tea, then made a hot drink for Heero, too. He brought the drinks over and sat down, laying his hands flat on either side of his mug. There was a mechanical quality to his movements. Heero raised an eyebrow and gently reached out to touch Maxwell's hands, unnerved by the blankness in his eyes. "Lieutenant?" He frowned at the lack of response, shaking the other man's hand urgently. "Duo?!"

Heero swore for a brief moment Duo recognised him, the briefest of smiles surfacing on his face before it vanished. Lieutenant Maxwell blinked and stared at his mug in confusion. "Whoa," he said, "Did…" He looked over his shoulder toward the kettle. "Did I make this?"

"Yes, you… seemed to fade away for a moment." Heero picked up his drink and sipped. He was surprised by the perfect cup of tea. "How did you…? This is exactly how I like my tea."

Lieutenant Maxwell looked concerned. "What?"

They stared at each other for a long moment. Maxwell eventually let his eyes slide down to where Heero's hand still rested. A deep sadness passed over his face before he set his mouth into a straight line. "I don't normally like other people touching me." 

But when Heero began to move away, Maxwell shifted his hand to rest it on Heero's hesitantly.

"No, I mean…" He closed his eyes. "You're… you're okay." He opened his eyes and searched Heero's face. “I don't know you, but it feels like we're… there's gotta be something." He laughed bitterly. "I know how to make your tea. What does that say about us?"

"I'd like to think we were close." Heero turned his hand, closing it slightly, tentatively squeezing Maxwell’s fingers, hoping to reassure him. "I was reading the letters again and you… we cared for each other. I'm sure of it."

Maxwell blinked at him, uncertainty in his eyes. "I… uh, I don't really…" He rolled his eyes impatiently, pulling away from Heero to pick up his mug. He took a long sip. "I don't play well with others. My boss leaves me without a partner 'cause when I first joined the unit, nobody-"

"Could work around you without twitching for their gun every time you showed any emotion?" Heero wrapped his hands around his own mug and nodded. "I know that feeling."

"It's almost like I'm some kind of unexploded ordnance." Maxwell's smile was lopsided. "Yeah." He drank his tea. "How are you feeling?"

"Now I've managed to get some rest, I feel better." Heero touched his side. "The stitches are holding, I think."

"Hmm, you heal up fast. It’s been, what? Two days?" Maxwell replied. "That's good." He thought for a moment, continuing, "I checked the chat. You, uh, you're not missing.”

Confused, Heero frowned. "Internal circular would normally note…"

"Exactly." Maxwell drummed his fingers lightly against his mug, then shrugged. "I checked in with a couple of contacts over at main HQ. Nothing's amiss, no missing agents." Heero frowned slightly, but Maxwell waved off his concern. "Don't worry, I was subtle."

"Maybe too subtle." Heero raised a hand to rub his forehead. "Then again, I don't want to take the chance anyone links me to you." He shook his head. “I’m not normally paranoid…”

“I keep thinking about it, too. Hmm." Maxwell leaned back and chewed his lip. "Look, let's set it aside for now. I don't know about you, but I'm getting kinda hungry."

Heero smiled slightly and lifted his mug, tilting it toward Maxwell. "I would be happy to cook, if you let me know where things are." He looked around at the detritus of his stay and nodded. "I owe you that, at least."

Maxwell laughed. "Hell, I'll take you up on that."

* * *

Duo drew up his knee and clasped it to his chest while he slowly spun his chair. The computer in front of him was being unusually uncooperative. He'd logged in as usual, answering and sending a couple of emails while setting his work account to holiday mode. He checked in on a couple of reports and then tried to access his own medical report. He didn't get very far. He didn't try again after the first refusal. He did send a simple email to his boss, though, confirming he'd tried to take a look, saying he had been getting headaches recently and asking why his medical records weren't available to view. Duo rested his chin on his knee and closed his eyes. There was an ever-present ache, just behind his right eye. Worse, he realised, when he and Yuy were close, but not in the same room. Even the distance from here in his home office to… Yuy had moved from the kitchen to the living room again. Even that distance seemed to be a little much. Duo opened his eyes and dropped his foot to the ground. He wondered briefly how Yuy would take to possibly…

The pain eased.

He lost that train of thought and turned around.

Yuy knocked hesitantly at the door frame. He held a steaming mug, and looked a little uncomfortable. "I, uh… thought maybe you'd like something hot before bed." He looked almost embarrassed. "I was thinking maybe… we could spend a little time, toget- uh… talking."

Duo stood up and took the mug from Yuy. He glanced down and was bemused to see hot chocolate. "How'd you know?"

"Know?"

"That I like a cup of cocoa before bed."

Yuy lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug and leaned against the door frame. "Would you believe I just…  _ felt _ you'd be happier?" Yuy folded his arms. "I've just come crashing into your life. You're being remarkably gracious."

Duo sipped the hot chocolate - bittersweet, just a hint of cinnamon, unnervingly exactly how he liked it - and glanced at Yuy. "It's…"

"Yeah, I know. I don't know how I knew, but I know what you mean."

"I suppose it's just proof that we used to know each other."

"Hope it means the memories aren't gone," Yuy muttered. He shook his head and jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I'm going to go drink mine." He waited awkwardly for a moment, almost looking like he'd say something else before he shook his head and headed off. "Good night, Lieutenant."

"Duo."

Yuy paused and turned around. Duo shrugged. "You can call me Duo and, uh… if you don't mind, I'll call you Heero."

"I'd… I'd like that."

Trying to ignore the quiet pleasure in Heero’s voice, Duo looked over his shoulder at his computer. "Hang on a minute. Let me just switch off my computer, I'll come with you." Not waiting for an answer, Duo walked back to his computer and began shutting it down.

Just behind him, Heero cleared his throat. "Was that the Preventer intranet?"

"Sure. I thought I'd take a quick look." Duo glanced over his shoulder. "Don't worry. I was careful."

"I trust you. Just…" He shrugged. "Since we don't know what scares them, I imagine any unusual activity would be flagged." 

Nodding, Duo typed a few commands. "Yeah, I thought that, too. That's why I've sent my commander a couple of emails, asking stupid questions to explain why I need the information." He picked up his drink. "It might do it, it might not. In any case, I've given a reason for wanting to look at my own medical file."

"Hmm." Heero blinked. "I didn't think to look at my own file. I just looked you up."

"It's not something I spent a long time contemplating, but I remember a couple of years back, I developed an issue with my eyes and ended up seeing a specialist outside the Preventer organisation." Duo stood as his computer put itself to sleep. “Man, the hoops the specialist had to jump through to get my files… At the time, I thought ‘typical Preventer red tape’ but now?” He picked up his drink and took one long appreciative gulp. "Man, it's really perfect."

"It's pretty sweet," Heero chuckled. "I was worried it might be  _ too _ sweet." 

"I got this damn stupid sweet tooth," Duo admitted, ducking his face. "Had it ever since the accident."

Heero paused by the door. "Did your accident put you in a coma for six months?"

Snorting lightly as he carried on past, Duo nodded. "And then woke up with amnesia?"

"Honestly." Heero shook his head as he followed Duo down the stairs. "They really didn't bother with the back story."

"I wonder if we find the others, are they all massively grateful to the Preventers, lucky to have been rescued by them after being a…" Duo trailed off expectantly. 

Heero rolled his eyes. "A child soldier, who was brave and fought well."

"Wow," Duo deadpanned as he sat down on the floor by the sofa. "They really just didn't bother." 

Heero sat on the other side of the sofa and turned to lean into the corner. "There's enough room."

"Nah, I'm okay." Duo leaned back, tipping his head back to rest on the seat. He stared at the ceiling for a moment. Heero cupped his hands around the mug that held his own cocoa. It wasn't quite as sweet as the one he'd made Duo, but it was the same batch. 

Absently scratching the hollow of his throat, Duo blinked and tilted his head. "Do you remember anything about your childhood?"

"No," Heero replied simply. "I'm told that's a blessing."

"Why did they choose us?" Duo wondered, returning his gaze to the ceiling. 

Bringing his knees up so he could sit cross-legged, Heero shrugged even though Duo couldn't see him. Duo tilted his head at the movement but otherwise remained still. He stretched his legs out in front of him and occasionally sipped his drink. They sat in companionable silence and Duo… Duo realised after a while that he didn't mind it. There wasn't any of his music playing, the TV was off, and for the first time in a very long time, Duo was… fine with the quiet. 

There was a rustle of paper, and Duo knew that Heero had pulled the photos out again. He rolled his head so he could look at the other man. Heero looked younger when he was staring at the photographs, a hurt in his eyes, though he didn't seem to want to share it. He had the picture of the five of them in his hand, and was looking at the faces of each of the young Preventer agents over and over as if it would spark a memory. Duo had read the inscription on the back, bemused by the slang and the short nicknames. This frightened young Duo had been scared of whatever was coming to take his friends away, but not enough to write their full names down.

Duo sat up, jostling his mug. 

The sudden movement made Heero look up. "Are you okay?"

"If I was scared…" Duo set his mug down and got up. He briefly walked to the door, then came back to gulp down the last of the hot chocolate. He set the mug down sharply, jabbing his fists into his hips in a determined pose. "Maybe I have a box in the attic, too!"

Heero stared at him, with surprise that melted to bemusement that melted to a longing gladness. He raised the photo to hold in front of Duo for a moment before lowering it again. "You've got the same… uh, grin." Heero's face blossomed with a rare smile as he joked, "Even the hot chocolate moustache seems right in place."

Duo blinked, laughing self-consciously as he scrubbed a hand over his mouth. "C'mon! Let's take a look!"

* * *

Duo's attic was smaller and better organised than Heero’s, but the box was in almost the same place: hidden deep in the rafters. 

Crouching with Heero holding a torch over it, Duo had turned the box over in his hands a couple of times. It was smaller than the one Heero had unearthed, battered and taped over several times. "I've never seen this before." 

"You clearly have." Heero pointed at the scribble of black marker on the side. "Your handwriting." Reaching forward, he tilted the box slightly, pointing at a faint brown smudge - a fingerprint, maybe. "Is that blood?" 

"Maybe." Duo looked up, the light not quite enough to see clearly. "Let's take it downstairs and find out what baby Duo had to hide." 

Once they were seated around the kitchen table, Duo used a small sharp knife to slice the layers of old tape. Heero almost had to sit on his hands, Duo was being so gentle and slow. He'd ripped his box open when he'd found it, completely unthinkingly. Duo peeled open the top of the box, opening the flaps one by one as if he expected it to explode. They leaned forward together to take a look. 

It was fairly unremarkable. A newspaper cutting, a couple of letters, a pamphlet, a stack of photos carefully wrapped in plastic wrap, and an old phone with an oddly augmented back - scratches all over its case. 

The newspaper cutting made mention of the last war, the time when the Barton Foundation attacked. Random sentences seemed to be circled and highlighted, but there was no annotation to explain why. Heero frowned. Everyone knew the story, so what was the point of keeping the clipping? He glanced at Duo questioningly, but Duo only shrugged and pulled out the letters. He started reading through them, the handwriting unfamiliar. Heero reached into the box and looked at the pamphlet. It was ancient and yellowing… From what little Heero could make out from the front, it was for a church, a very faded picture of a priest and a pair of nuns smiling on the cover. Heero opened the pamphlet, a battered silver cross on a frayed leather necklace falling out and hitting the table with a dull thunk as he did so. Heero picked up the cross and held it up to the light. It was an old lump of metal, worn and smooth. He turned his attention back down to the inside of the pamphlet. It was in better condition, but not by much. There were small brown and grey smudges, tiny fingerprints in blood and…

Heero ran a delicate thumb over one of the small grey smudges. It could have been ash. Under the ashy fingerprint, the name of the church appeared. "This is the Maxwell church." Heero glanced at Duo. "Maxwell like you?"

"I've never heard of it," Duo said distractedly, "I'm not really religious." He held a letter out. "This one is from someone called Wufei." 

"Wufei." Heero put the pamphlet and the cross to one side so he could take the letter. He scanned it carefully. "He's worried about…" Heero blinked in surprise. "Is he talking about General Une… the founder of the Preventers?"

"Do you know many other Unes linked to the Preventers in the world?" Duo nodded. "I think he knows her judging by how much he worries." 

Heero sat back, rubbing a hand over his mouth in disbelief. "I find it extremely hard to believe that anyone could compel General Une to do anything against her wishes." He frowned, shaking his head. “She’s retired from central command, but I understand she still has an interest in the organisation. Should we…? No, we need more information.”

"Hmm." Duo handed over another. "This one is from you." He smirked. "Bit short and to the point."

Heero blinked. The letter was nothing like the ones he had from Duo. Here on this ripped sheet were two sentences - if they could be called that:

> _ 02\. Alive. With R. H. _

“I have a nasty feeling…” Heero sighed as he held up the letter. "I'm not going to be very helpful."

"Haha." Duo shook his head. "Not if we can't figure out who R is… that adds a sixth person." Duo held up his fingers, counting off. "You, me, Wufei, Qat, T, and now R." He picked up the phone and stared at it. It wouldn't switch on. He pulled at the weird back cover. It came off easily. 

"Hmm…" Duo tilted his head, squinting at the device. "Looks like I've taken out the chips that’d allow this to communicate with anything." He pulled a face, standing. "I think I have this charger, hang on." 

He dug around in a nearby drawer and triumphantly pulled out a cord. Heero followed him into the living room, joining him on the floor next to the nearest exposed plug. Duo put the phone back together and plugged it in. They waited for a few moments, staring at the screen. 

A flash of the notification LED, and then the screen lit up with the charging icon. 

Duo looked at Heero, smiling with a tinge of uncertainty. "Guess we gotta wait." 

"What do you think might be on it?"

Duo sighed, leaning back on his hands. "Judging by the electrical work I've done on it, not much. I've really done a number on the motherboard." He shrugged. "If it works more than a glorified photo frame, I will be very surprised." 

"Are you sure it was you?"

"Yeah." Duo picked it up, turning it over. "I was in a hurry, it's not pretty but I recognise my own work. Bomb squad want me so badly because I'm pretty good with electronics." He rolled his eyes, mildly embarrassed. "Not to blow my own horn or anything, but wiring just comes naturally. I've disarmed some of the practice bombs faster than a couple of the real pros."

Heero nodded thoughtfully and then got up to return to the kitchen. He came back with the box and sat down next to Duo again. He pulled out the newspaper clip and stared at it. "Why keep something that everyone knows about?"

"Why keep an old church pamphlet?" Duo replied, peering into the box. "I don't think I've ever even been in a church." He picked up the necklace. Running his fingers over it, he was bemused by the strangely familiar feel it held. He scratched the empty hollow of his throat, tempted to put the necklace on. 

"I think you might have been." Heero brought the news clipping closer to his face so he could look at the photograph. It was grainy, taken at night. A bright shooting star travelling in the wrong direction over a burning compound. "Why keep something that's available everywhere?" Heero turned the paper over in his hands, unfolding it fully. Written in pen, in Duo's handwriting, was a single line, which Heero read out: "Their final, most essential command."

Duo snorted. "God, I'm such a nerd." He blinked as he realised Heero didn't get the reference. He smiled bitterly as he dropped the necklace into the box and picked up the weird phone. "’The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command,’" he quoted. " _ Nineteen Eighty-Four _ , George Orwell. Basically, a story of how history is changed to suit the party." 

"Party?"

"In this context, I'm going to guess whoever did this to us. I’ll dig out my copy." Duo glanced down at the device in his hands. "That's enough juice to get started." He fiddled with the clunky old device and it switched on. It needed a passcode. Duo sighed and held it up to Heero. "I'm guessing in my former life, I could read Japanese?"

Heero blinked. "Jūnin toiro?" He frowned slightly. "It doesn't translate well… but basically - ten people, ten colours…" Heero looked up, searching for the right English idiom. "Uh, each person has their own thing?" He snapped his fingers as the phrase came to him. “Each to their own!”

Duo looked at him thoughtfully before shrugging. "If I can't get it right, I've probably set it up to wipe itself." He flexed his fingers and glanced at Heero. “What’s the number in your protocol?”

“Zero One.”

Duo nodded. “And I’m Zero Two.” He paused, eyes flicking to the clipping. “But that’s something I would know if they hadn’t tampered with my memory.” He tilted his head. “So, I’d leave myself a clue? Did I know I wasn’t going to remember…?” Duo frowned. “Why wouldn’t I leave something more useful in the box? Why wouldn’t  _ you _ leave something more useful in your box?”

Heero shook his head. “I don’t think we had much of a choice when we had to put them together.” He gestured to the clipping. “If…  _ they _ didn’t want us to remember, why leave any evidence at all?”

“Maybe… we have help. Maybe this R you were with. Maybe someone in that stack of photos.” He tapped in a code. "Let's see how nerdy I am."

The device lit up. 

“1984,” Duo snorted. "Baby Duo was such a nerd. I mean, I love the book, but really…?"

He tapped at the screen and pressed on the only file on the desktop. It took a couple of seconds to load. Heero leaned in. Their foreheads touched lightly, but their attentions were caught on the screen.

There was a blur of colour as the screen moved. When the camera stilled, a much younger Heero Yuy glared into the screen. "I don't know how much longer I can run." Younger Heero glanced over the camera. "Stick with Hilde, I'm on my way. If they…" A look of pain appeared on the younger Heero's face briefly before it hardened with determination. "I will find you, Duo. I promise." Younger Heero brought the camera closer, hard blue eyes almost filling the screen. "I will find you again."

The video ended with a flurry of colour and noise. 

They stared at the device for a long moment, neither saying anything. 

Duo looked at Heero, who was frowning as if he couldn't reconcile the person on the screen with himself. 

"Well…" Duo said quietly, "At least you keep your promises." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed with joy, the comments so far have been so wonderful and there's so much I want to write in response. Thank you so so much. Stay safe, stay warm.


	4. broken inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a lonely existence. Catherine is doing her best for Trowa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me.  
> I extend my thanks to bryony-rebb (Tumblr) for their assistance with beta-ing. Very patient, very kind. I'm overjoyed to have their help!  
> Also, if you think I can go without a disclaimer:... hahahaha, I'm so old.

She sighed as she dropped her keys - again. She was exhausted. When she crouched to pick them up, some unknown pain twanged in her back. Closing her eyes, Catherine Bloom slowly straightened and tried to enter her apartment block again. The rain was cold, it was getting dark, and the shopping was heavy. But as she walked through the door, she gave a little prayer of thanks, because at least they had food this time.

Catherine's job was flexible enough to allow her to have the time she needed, but it was poorly paid. While Trowa's pension was sufficient to keep the roof over their head, they were always skirting the bills. He'd never work again, they said. But as long as she could keep him from the general public’s attention, she could stay with him here on Earth. Catherine took a deep breath and started walking up the four flights of stairs to her apartment.

She was able to keep her brother. 

That was the most important thing.

She knew that was why they were so reluctant to pay out more of his pension when she asked. Doctor Smythe had made it very clear she’d rather Trowa stay in the facility. If Catherine struggled to take care of her brother, it was clear that Smythe would take him back. If that meant skipping a meal here and there to keep the roof over their head, Catherine would do it. Smythe had been so… clinical about her brother as if he were some interesting specimen instead of a human being. 

Catherine looked forward to the day when… maybe… her brother recovered long enough for them to have a conversation. Until that day she had to work hard and keep herself from losing heart. ‘Keep your head down,’ she always told herself. ‘Look for the small pleasures,’ such as the nice meals she cooked for herself. Trowa would never care again about what she gave him to eat. For him, it was a completely isolated existence. They said he just… wouldn’t care. He didn't know what was happening. He lived, but he wasn't aware. He was simply alive and - in the years since the incident - Catherine had to believe that she’d made the right choice. 

She wasn't like some of the others… the ones who protested. Sally had told her about the Winner family. Catherine felt sorry for them but knew making a fuss about the other pilots wasn’t the way. Trowa didn’t need the attention. Sally said he was probably unaware of what had happened to the other Gundam pilots. She just wanted to live with her family… what little remained of it. And didn’t Trowa deserve to have a little bit of peace in his life? He'd already fought. He'd already given up enough. She didn't believe that he deserved to give up anymore.

“I'm home,” she called out quietly, not really expecting a response

She walked through into the living room and found Trowa standing there. Just standing in the middle of the room. She looked around. Clearly, at some point, he’d gotten bored of staring at the ceiling and decided to get up. He was only sort of dressed - enough to keep most of him warm, but not enough to say he was fully clothed.

His slack face showed no expression as she entered. He stared at her blankly before returning his gaze to the omnipresent television. It was tuned to inoffensive 24-hour news, something that could carry on without any interaction whilst providing some background noise. She didn't think it was a good idea to leave Trowa sitting in silence all day.

“My day was fine,” she said as if he'd spoken. “My boss really likes the way I arrange the flowers. I wish he knew I could do so much more.” She sighed. “Ah, well. No use…” She glanced at him as he began the slow shuffle back to his room.

Trowa was unable to process language effectively. He wouldn’t speak and he didn’t always respond. Someone talking was only so much noise to him. He would walk away without saying anything. But Catherine knew if she kept talking to him, kept the routines going… Maybe one day he’d… 

Catherine shook her head and carried on putting the shopping away. She made some food, something tasty for herself and something easy to spoon-feed him.

As dinner was cooking, she took the time to maneuver Trowa back into the living room. He couldn't follow instructions without significant repetitions and gentle prompting. Catherine would forever be his carer.

But at least she would still be a part of his life.

Even if it was a life where he did nothing but gaze blankly.

Catherine settled them down to watch a movie, something simple and easy to follow. She was too tired for anything else. She was just drifting off when her phone started to ring.

Catherine got up tiredly. "Don't worry, I got it."

Trowa didn't move.

Catherine walked into the kitchen and touched the call screen. It was a video call from a blocked number. "You've got to be kidding me." A blocked number kept calling, once or twice a month at first… but recently as often as once or twice a week. This was now the third time this week. It was sure to be spam, she thought, rolling her eyes. 

Staring at the screen, she hung up without answering and walked away.

* * *

Catherine stared at the ceiling after her alarm went off.

She had to get up soon, Trowa didn't sleep for long. She just… wanted to spend a little more time in bed. She had a half-day arranged, to give herself time to clean the apartment and make sure that Trowa took a shower.

There was an odd noise from the living room, which made Catherine sit bolt upright. She staggered out of bed, grabbing her dressing gown and pulling it half on as she rushed into the living room.

She stopped as she realised what the sounds were. Trowa was sitting in the middle of the room, having pulled apart… she stared, mouth falling open… the toaster, the little radio player, and an old phone. He sat in the middle of the machinery, looking at the old phone thoughtfully.

"Trowa?" Catherine croaked, her throat dry. She almost jumped when he looked directly at her with sharp green eyes.

She took a step forward, her hand held out.

…But the sharpness faded from his eyes and the phone in his hand dropped to the floor as he lost interest. Catherine rested her hand on his shoulder and he got awkwardly to his feet. He walked away from the devices he'd taken apart and shuffled into his room.

"Trowa…" Catherine sighed. She closed her eyes for a moment, the hope draining from her.

* * *

_ "I told you-" _

"He knew who I was."

_"Catherine."_ Doctor Sally Po was impatient, resting a hand on her forehead. _"This line is for emergencies only."_

"You don't call him being aware enough to make…" Catherine shook the old phone in front of the screen. "Whatever this is… an emergency?"

Frustrated, Sally sighed. _"You don't know…"_ She pursed her lips for a moment. Catherine saw an incredible sadness pass over her eyes. Sally dropped her head, as if weary. _“Catherine, has anyone… contacted you? Have you spoken to anyone about… them?”_

“Who?”

_ “The boys. Has… anyone contacted you about them?” _

“No, why…” Catherine shook her head. “No, I haven’t spoken to anyone. I promise.” She swallowed. "He was aware of me. It was just a moment, but I know he knew me."

Sally leaned in closer as if she didn't want to be overheard. _"Subject Zero Three is completely inert."_ Her eyes were wide and desperate. _"Catherine, you must not let anyone know you suspect any different."_

Catherine felt her eyes well up and her breath catch, "You don't know… You haven't seen-"

_"You want me to come and… and what? Certify him as not entirely inert?"_ She looked up, glancing around before hissing desperately into the screen, _"You will never see him again. Remember what Smythe said."_

"I know, I just… Sally, he's there."

"No," Sally replied firmly, _"he's not. And you will do well to remember that."_

A tear slipped down her cheek and Catherine nodded. "What can I do?"

Sally hesitated, her jaw working for a moment. Her eyes flicked down. _"Protocol Zero Three Eta. It will reset him completely."_

"Protocols don't-"

_"No, I know, but if I remember correctly that was one of the few that did work on him."_ Sally glanced up, her eyes tracking something off-screen. _"I’ll call you if anything changes. I've got to go. Don’t call me again."_

"Thank-"

The call ended before Catherine could finish. She straightened in her seat and took in a very deep cleansing breath. It came out in a shudder. She shook her head once and raised a hand to scrub at her eyes. They didn't care about her, they didn't care about him… After all, Trowa had done for the world, for the Preventers…

Catherine sighed and pushed herself up. She nodded to herself. It was just another day and she had to keep herself going. She looked over her shoulder, through to the living room. For him.

* * *

Catherine paused in the doorway to Trowa's bedroom. He was sitting on the broad windowsill. It was a little cove, filled with comfortable pillows she'd made out of their circus costumes. She had hoped it would trigger a memory or two. He sat limply, hands resting in his lap. He rested his forehead against the window and stared out with dull eyes.

"Trowa… I…" She waited a moment, hoping that he'd turn and see her. When he didn't, she nodded. "That's okay, I know." She walked in and sat beside him. She reached out and touched his hand. It made him turn his head towards her, expression blank as always.

Catherine smiled sadly and turned her attention out the window. Outside, the rain started. Earth weather was so unpredictable. Catherine shifted to rest her back against the wall. In front of her, Trowa mirrored her pose and turned his head to stare vacantly out the window.

"It's okay," Catherine murmured, mostly to herself. "It will all be okay. I promise." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment has me biting my fist in a desperate attempt not to just spill the beans. Honestly, it's the most tense part of this whole thing. But I love them, I cherish each word. I hoard them, honestly I think if my printer had any ink, I would print them out and simply do my best impression of Smaug. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you for joining me.


	5. crashing slowly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Duo and Heero get used to each other, Duo meets someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me.  
> I extend my thanks to bryony-rebb (Tumblr) for their assistance with beta-ing. Do you have any idea what I put them through? The sheer amount of grammatical mistakes? bryony-rebb has not met my longer term beta, blue. blue however commiserates with bryony-rebb. Thank you so much, bryony-rebb.   
> Also, if you think I can go without a disclaimer:... hahahaha, I'm so old.

Duo leaned against the door frame to the living room and watched Heero stretch. From a series of warm-up positions, he transitioned into an increasingly advanced set of movements. His balance and the way his muscles moved under his skin… It made Duo think about a finely-honed knife. Standing in just his trousers, Heero seemed confident - almost as if his wounds weren’t painful at all. He stood straight, facing away from Duo, breathing a little harder than normal. Duo almost left him to catch his breath but found himself vaguely mesmerised by the scars crisscrossing Heero’s back and arms, eye-catching against his darker skin. The telltale scar of a gunshot wound ripped across the bicep of one arm. Duo stared at that one. The scar stood out.

Strikingly similar to his own wounds. 

Across the shoulders, burn marks from sparking mobile suit control panels. Around the wrists, across his waist… Duo could see his own scars on this man’s skin. A thought blossomed in his mind, and before he even thought about it, Duo crossed the living room and pressed a finger against the scar at the base of Heero’s skull. 

Heero stilled completely. “What…?”

“Me too,” Duo whispered. “I have this one, too.” 

Heero turned his head slightly, hard blue eyes widening. “That’s a surgical scar, the one I got-”

“When they had to perform surgery from the last fight.” Duo swallowed and dropped his hand. “I was unconscious, and they think the pressure from the wound-”

“Is what caused the amnesia,” Heero finished, turning to face Duo completely. He looked Duo up and down and then moved around him. Duo held still, knowing what Heero was looking for. He felt Heero gently move his braid over his shoulder, an odd thrill going through him at the contact. 

Heero stilled behind him. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t… I’ve never let anyone touch my hair.” Duo briefly bit his lip as he felt Heero step away. He looked over his shoulder, a faint smile on his lips. “If I wanted, I would have stopped you.”

Heero kept eye contact as he reached out and stroked Duo’s braid from the point it left his neck to where it draped over Duo’s shoulder. Duo felt the same strange thrill. 

“And that’s okay?” Heero asked softly, his eyes drifting to where his hand was. 

“Yes.” Duo looked away, tilting his head forward slightly. “See it?”

Fingers probed the base of his skull, and Heero had to take a step closer to peer at it. His warm breath stole over Duo’s neck. Duo reflected he’d probably never let anyone this close to him either, but Heero… 

Heero felt instinctively safe. 

“Definitely surgical in nature.” Heero took a step back, his posture thoughtful. Duo glanced at him again as Heero grabbed one of Duo’s spare t-shirts and drew it over his head. It was a little tight on him. Duo felt his cheeks warm as he realised he’d noted this fact because Heero’s body looked so well defined in it. 

Heero continued, “If you can gain access to your medical files, perhaps there will be more information in there.” He frowned and looked around. “I’ll tidy up today and start searching for a new location to stay.”

Duo blinked at him, confused. “Why?”

Heero looked back at him. “I’ve been here for more than a week, surely you want your space back.” He smiled a bit sheepishly. “I didn’t plan much more than just getting here.” 

“I’m fine with you staying,” Duo replied. “You tidy, but let’s see if we can’t solve the problem from here first. We don’t know if someone is looking for you.” He chewed his lip a moment, then threw back his shoulders and nodded decisively. “Though if the sofa is getting uncomfortable, I’m happy for you to share my bed. I’ve got a double.”

Heero’s eyebrows shot up, but after a slight hesitation, he looked around and nodded. “I’d appreciate it.” He paused, chuckling as if embarrassed. “Thanks. The sofa is getting a little… I’d appreciate sleeping in a bed. If you’re okay to share…?”

“Wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.” Duo pushed his braid back over his shoulder, running a hand over the spot Heero had touched. “I’ve never really felt so comfortable with other people… I’d be curious to figure out what’s so different about you.” 

“Never had a boyfr- roommate?”

The slip pulled a fond smile to Duo’s face. “Not really.” 

Heero nodded. “I had one - a roommate, I mean… They left after a week. I got twitchy about their coming in too late at night and they wouldn’t agree to a signal.”

Laughing with bemusement, Duo shook his head. “Who comes in late without letting the people inside know?” 

“Exactly my point!” Heero spread his hands. “I almost shot his head off one night, because I thought he might be an intruder.” He followed Duo as the other man moved into the hallway to put on his shoes. “I’ll cook tonight.”

“I think I have chicken…”

“I remember.” Heero smiled. “Good luck at work today.”

Duo stood and pulled on his long coat. “Thanks. I’ll see if I can’t find anything to bring back.”

* * *

Duo swiped in and made his way to the lifts. There were a few more people here than normal. A few Preventer uniforms he didn’t recognise, a number from active duty and medical walking around the place. Checking his email on his phone, Duo realised there was some big meeting taking place at the building. Strange when they were so close to the main headquarters, the small law enforcement precinct not nearly so well equipped for such an event. 

He was just waiting for the lift when a woman walked up and stood next to him. She stood there silently and he gave her a polite smile before turning his attention back to waiting for the lift. They got on together and he punched his floor’s number. He looked at the woman, who smiled benignly. “We’re going to the same place.”

Duo shrugged and stood facing the lift doors as they closed. 

“Seem awfully interested in your medical files while you were absent, Lieutenant Maxwell.” 

The lift began moving and Duo turned his head fractionally. “Who are you?”

“Doctor Po,” she replied quietly. “You don’t know me, but I know you. Your commander doesn’t know why I’m really here today. I would appreciate it if you go to the little conference room to the left, rather than your office today.” 

Duo stared at the metal doors. Their dull reflections were still. “And if I don’t go?”

“You will go,” she replied, her voice light and unthreatening. “We’re just going to chat, and then you’ll forget all about it.”

“You seem very sure.”

“Well… ” Doctor Po sounded amused. “It’s not like you remember the last time.”

* * *

The small conference room was rarely used - poor natural light and a fire escape door that didn’t close properly, letting in a draft, had seen to that. Duo looked around the room and then finally focused on the Preventer medical specialist who sat on the table. She was older than him, but not by much. Brown hair, streaks of silver coiled within, was held in two curling braids which fell down over her shoulders. Her dark blue eyes were calm. He’d seen her before, he was sure of it. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked, bringing a foot up to rest on one of the chairs. Her smile was wary. “I heard you were involved in an altercation at a corner store near your home.”

“I’m fine,” he replied. The air was a little stale in the room. “How do you make sure I don’t remember?”

A corner of her lip pulled as if he’d said something amusing and she was trying not to let him see. “We’ll come to that. Why were you looking at your medical records if you were fine?” 

He tilted his head, looking at her carefully. “You don’t actually need the answer, do you?”

Doctor Po blinked before leaning forward. “…Duo?”

“Yes?”

She frowned, glancing at the door, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Do you know who I am?”

“No.” 

She pursed her lips, disappointed. “Why the medical record?”

“Obviously, I was looking for something.”

“What?”

He moved to sit down at the table, linking his fingers together in front of him. “You’re medical.” He cocked his head, gesturing at the logo on her arm with a pointed finger. “You could probably tell me.” He looked obviously at the door. “If you think you can.”

Her blue eyes narrowing, she let out a huff of air, shifting so she could sit opposite him at the table. She nodded, smiling tightly. “You’ve noticed the security.”

“There’s more than just medical staff downstairs.” He tilted his head. “Am I really that much of a threat?”

“Alone like this? Probably not.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, the cold air tensing between them. Po broke first, rubbing her hands together. “Maybe this would go better with coffee…” she muttered, staring out the window, her expression wavering between sure and wary. 

It was the moment of stillness, Duo was sure, that caused the memory to surface hard. Sally Po sat across from him again, but this time… _ space was outside the window. In her hand was a steaming cup of coffee. She looked at him, younger in this memory. Tired looking, but joyful. Behind her, drifting and sparking in space, the wreckage of hundreds of mobile suits.  _

Duo blinked and the memory vanished. He frowned down at his hands. He whispered her name, uncertain if it was right but needing to know. “Sally?”

When he looked up, she was staring at him, her mouth fallen open. “Duo?” She mouthed a swear word, looking over her shoulder towards the door. She seemed to make a decision. “Where’s Heero? His supervisor said he’d found the box.” She stared at him directly, and even though he didn’t answer, she reacted as if he had. She leaned over the table and lowered her voice, desperation in her eyes. “They’re looking for him, and if they find him with you, both of you will be reconditioned. When did you wake up? Did you find the box as well?”

“I didn’t wake up… I think, but...” he replied, holding his hands up in a stopping motion. For a moment, he couldn’t see her now… only then. The stars and debris sparkling behind her. Relief that they were still both alive. He… he knew he could trust her. He shut his eyes hard, taking a deep breath. He nodded to himself and then opened his eyes, staring at the woman evenly. “I found the box.” He leaned forward. “What’s going on?” 

Doctor Po shook her head hard, once. “You’ll remember soon enough. You might be harmonising… Heero must be within the city limits if you…” She grinned savagely, stumbling over herself as she thought out loud. “So the old man was right. It didn’t hold. The devices would resolve… Harmonisation would be the natural result of the extra background processing… I thought the boxes weren’t enough to trigger- But of course… can’t hold while one’s awake. The original program will just overwrite our alterations…” She reached out a hand. Duo stared at it a second before taking it. She squeezed his hand. “I knew you’d find a way out.” 

“What are you talking about?”

Doctor Po leaned closer to him. “The longer you remain near each other, the more it will recalibrate. If you can find the others, the more likely that will become.” She bit her lip. “Maybe… Noin could… Maybe I could get Une…” She dropped her shoulders, the fight leaving her for a moment. She raised a hand and pressed it over her eyes. It shook. “This won’t work… Heero won’t…”

Duo stared at her for a long moment before admitting, “I know Heero.” 

She dropped her hand, eyes wide and a spark of hope deep within. “He had a head injury… His boss said they’d winged him in the side…” She looked down and began patting her pockets. She pulled out her keys and sent them skittering across the table to him. He caught them without looking. That seemed to boost her confidence a little. “Howard said it couldn’t hold, your doctors were too good. We always hoped the memory boxes would help.” She pursed her lips. “If you can, grab the medical kit from my car, but don’t take the car - they’ve got me chipped six ways from Sunday.” She rattled off its location and number plate and then pushed a memory stick across the table at him. “I made a copy of your medical files. I couldn’t get the others… not without alerting Smythe.” She ruefully shook her head. “I didn’t honestly think you’d find each other...” 

Looking away for a moment, she snorted. 

“I’ve been hoping for this day.” She stood and leaned over the table to offer her hand. “This ain’t gonna be easy going, Maxwell. You’ve got to hide long enough for Noin to sort out an escape route.” She glanced down. “There’s another, but… he’s too damaged. Maybe. But maybe, if you’re waking up, maybe… maybe he will, too…” 

He took her hand and shook it. “You’re helping me.” 

Doctor Po’s smile was the first honest one she’d given him since they met. Her blue eyes were sharp and knowing. “Of course. I don’t know if we’ll see each other again.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I’ve got to activate a threat now.” She closed her eyes and held his hand tight. “Try not to kill me on your way out, but you’re going to need to incapacitate me so when the guards come to check-in… nobody should think I helped you.”

“I still don’t…” Duo trailed off and looked down. “Are you going to use a protocol on me?”

“No. I’m going to activate you.” Doctor Po let go of his hand and reached for her gun. “If you remember, tell Heero…” She bit her lip. “He was wrong. It was much worse than he thought.” She moved quickly, bringing her gun up and pointing at him. 

He looked at her in confusion and began feeling a dull ache behind his eyes. He touched his forehead. “What are you…?”

“Don’t,” she whispered, “Don’t fight it.”

He stared at her, wide-eyed. He shook his head and stood up from the table. His hand twitched for his gun and he stared at it as if it had taken on a life of its own. The ache behind his eyes blossomed into pain.

“Damn it, Maxwell,” she hissed, “Stop fighting it!” Doctor Po turned her head and screamed out, “Security! SOMEONE, GET IN HERE! CODE RED!!”

That seemed to trigger something in him. In the corridor, he was aware of people running, but the sounds were muted.

He blinked.

The last thing he remembered was noticing the muscles in her hand shift as she brought infinitesimal pressure to bear on the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {perches on the edge of their seat, anxiously waiting for you to finish reading} hello? Is it good? this is very stressful to write, I shit you not. I have to get up at 5am normally. I woke up at 1am the other night having dreamt about this story with a new idea (it fixed a plot hole) and frantically had to type it on my phone before I fell back asleep. I want to be clear, it's lots of fun to write but it's so tense! And there are so many chapters that I can't wait to share with you.   
> Thank you so much, you really do make my day every time you drop by. Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for joining me here. I appreciate your time and attention. I would love to know your thoughts! Keep safe, keep sane, drink tea!


End file.
